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:: focus ::

December 28, 2010

I’ve lost my focus lately, literally and figuratively.  It dawned upon me today as I was going through my iPhoto library trying to round up some good ones to share with friends and family.  There weren’t many good pictures.  All the recent photographs of my children were soft, blurry and, well, out of focus.

It’s an accurate analogy, my life and my photographs.  It’s been hard to see my kids for what they truly are the past few weeks.  Instead of acknowledging the merriment and joy that they bring I’ve been stuck on the negative.  How odd that it took photograph upon photograph of blurred faces and streaky limbs to draw this to my attention.

Well, it took crappy pictures and a phone-call on  The Dave Ramsey show to snap me back to reality. Today there was a caller who wanted financial advice for his wife because he had been diagnosed with in-operable brain cancer.  He has small children.  He’s 27.  He has cancer that will kill him.

It put all the sharp words that I’ve been lashing out in my mind into perspective.  I’ve been glowering in the corner (not always so quietly) about the horrendous things my children have done today and yesterday and what they will probably do tomorrow.  My automatic focus (har-de-har-har) has been on the negative.

So today I changed perspective; I switched my focus.  And instead of terrors, demons and ‘monkeys of misery’ I saw (and heard):

dinosaurs and dragons
teamwork to defeat ‘the bad guys (who unfortunately were the gorgeous Waldorf dolls they got for Christmas)
leadership
empathy
responsibility
compassion
love
laughter
shrieks of delight

Focusing on the positive rather than the negative keeps my household sane.  I am working to select the details I want to highlight and blur out the rest into the background.  

While we try to teach our children all about life,
Our children teach us what life is all about.
~Angela Schwindt


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One Comment leave one →
  1. Ashlea permalink
    December 28, 2010 3:13 pm

    I loved this post, Jessica. This is my life, too. I was so frustrated yesterday. My children were being awful and I ended the day crying and wondering what today would bring. I woke up in the middle of the night thinking that I needed to change my own mind about what today would be like. I got up early, got myself ready for the day, made my coffee and cleaned up a little. I had it set in my head that today is going to be a good day. Even though the kids have had a few bad moments this morning (Kenzie biting Isaiah, Isaiah and Kenzie arguing and Kallen screaming non-stop I’ve been trying to just stay calm. Thanks for your perspective on this. I will now go about my day thinking about the things my kids are doing in the way you are.

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